Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
