forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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