Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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