okay pat passed out under dana's car
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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