My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
