i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
