That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im six kinds of drunk right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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