Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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