It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
