this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
