I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
