Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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