Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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