oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
