why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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