All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
