Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
