This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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