She is in my trunk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
