Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I need a burrito and a hug.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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