I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
