I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
