His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
