just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
