I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
