I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
