she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
