just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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