is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
