Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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