You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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