Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize