Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
