Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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