come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
where are you?
Hypothermia
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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