This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
