you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
