drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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