His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
