I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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