am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
