I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
