Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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