i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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