im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Come share oat with me in your robe
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
