bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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