it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
