Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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