don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
