Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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