shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
