at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
please don't ironically join a cult
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