if only i could text you this smell
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
