She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
