I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize