Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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