I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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