yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize