ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
