you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
