Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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