he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
love makes seman taste better
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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