remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
