another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
