Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
