You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
