Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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