Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
