I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
